you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
