The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
