Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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