help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
