Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
