It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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