He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
