Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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