hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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