Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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