me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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