Already got asked if we're dating
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
