I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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