Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
