Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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