I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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