Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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