he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
