i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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