He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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