the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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