she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
