once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
