so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
