pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
