8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
