Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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