someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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