Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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