i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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