And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
