I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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