Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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