Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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