we're blogging at a bar
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
