well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
