Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
