Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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