There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
