i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
