I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
