I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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