I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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