I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize