In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
