I am in a vortex of obligation.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
