Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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