Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
as a side note pls kill me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
