a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
