Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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