do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
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The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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