no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
