just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
