And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
