That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
