whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
