Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
ttyl tear gas
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
