Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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