Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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