im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
