in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
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