I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
