Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
